영국에 사는 23살 헤일리 해리스는 오랫동안 청소년기 거식증(Anorexia Nervosa)을 앓아왔다. 올해 초에야 수년 간의 치료에서 벗어난 그는 자신의 경험을 세상과 공유해야겠다고 생각했다. 그래서 인스타그램 계정 BitingBack을 만들고 자신의 회복기와 식단, 그리고 그 수기를 올리기 시작했다. 2016년 3월 현재 몸무게는 50kg이다. 지난해까지도 38kg밖에 나가지 않았다.
🌺 My name is Hayley, I'm 23 from London and I was diagnosed last year with Anorexia Nervosa. I have, as of yesterday, been discharged from inpatient treatment which not only got me to be #weightrestored but gave me a fighting chance to win this battle and kick Ana in the butt. I spent so much of my time in hospital reading the most inspirational #prorecovery stories which gave me an undetermined amount of hope, freedom & strength. This is my thank you to those & my way of showing to other this IS possible.. My story. Me biting back. 🌺
"(요약) 어제에야 저체중에서 벗어나기 위한 치료가 끝났습니다. 병원에서 보낸 많은 시간 동안 정말 많은 섭식장애 경험기를 읽고 힘을 얻었습니다. 힘이 된 사람들에게 감사하는 동시에, 회복이 가능하다는 걸 보여주고 싶어서 인스타그램을 시작합니다."
치료가 끝나 이제야 평범한 식사를 할 수 있게 됐다는 헤일리가 공개하는 식단은 말그대로 아주 평범하고 다양하다. 음식 사진을 올리면서 틈틈이 자신에게 후유증으로 남은 통증에 대해서도 밝힌다.
Honestly, I've struggled a little the last couple of days. I found the illness had its grips on me a little more then usual this week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting it all to be easy and I know these days are here to challenge my recovery, but I got through it. Surrounded by the love of my friends and family as well as you all with your incredible support (on my last post especially) I dragged my butt through it. I can't thank you enough for your kind words on it and quite honestly you all got me through my dark patch the last couple of days. So from the bottom of my heart .. THANK YOU !!! I celebrate with this bad boy (that I nearly completed but a couple of bites) from GBK.. Bacon, double cheese and onion ring burger with truffle cheese fries & salted caramel shake 😍 You all are incredible. Remember that it's okay to stumble, I'm a prime example, but it's how you fight back that matters ... Happy nearly weekend beauties 🙌🏼 💜💚
2주 전에는 사진을 올리면서 세계적으로 화제였던 'Thigh gap'에 대한 의견도 썼다. 바로 섰을 때 허벅지 사이가 붙지 않고 떨어져야 예쁘다는 것으로, 지난해까지 크게 유행하며 비판의 대상이 되기도 했다. 이에 대한 반향으로 'Thighbrow'라는 새 유행도 등장했다. (물론 이 유행의 반은 조크다.)
왼쪽이 5달 전, 오른쪽이 2주 전의 헤일리다.
Forever aiming for THAT thigh gap, THAT ideal..only to find that with THAT thigh gap comes not being able to sit in a bath without being in pain, hiding your legs from the bruises they're swimming in, the heartburn, the chest pains, the blue nails, the hair loss, the inability to ever be warm.. I think I'll take my thighs starting to touch and my cheese burgers any day now thanks...plus I'm one step closer to being a mermaid now 💁🏼😋🍔💗🌸⭐️ Celebration transformation in the exact same spot 5 months apart 💪🏼🤗❤️ #prorecovery #recovery #transformationtuesday #edwarrior #anorexia #ED #edrecovery #transformation #beatitbefit #NEDA #love #edsoldier #beatana #strongnotskinny #healthyishappy #foodporn #anorexiarecovery #edstruggles #foodisfuel #edfamily #food #edwarrior #quote #bodypeace #fitness #eatingdisorderrecovery #inpatient #outpatient #transformation #beforeandafter
"그 이상적인 '허벅지 갭'을 평생 만들려고 한 결과는 욕조에 앉을 때마다 고통스러운 것, 다리에 자꾸만 드는 멍을 숨겨야 하는 것, 가슴 통증, 파랗게 변하는 손발톱, 탈모, 체온 저하..... 이제 허벅지가 서로 닿게 만들어야 할 것 같다. 조금만 있으면 인어 몸매가 될 수도 있다 💁🏼😋🍔💗🌸 정확히 같은 자리에서 5달 전과 지금."
아래도 지난해의 몸매와 올해의 몸매를 비교한 사진들이다.
❤️THIS IS WHAT MY RECOVERY LOOKS LIKE NOW ❤️ •This is what pancake breakfasts with my girlfriends looks like • This is what late night trips to the supermarket for ice cream looks like • This is what drunkenly eating cheese fries whilst discussing the universe at 3am looks like • This is what eating cereal out of the box with a spoon watching Netflix all day looks like • This is what beginning to fall in love with life & every precious moment that comes along with it again looks like• This is what I look like now and this is is me not apologising for that anymore ❤️ #IAmMoreThan Anorexia ❤️
💪🏼 "And I said to my body softly 'I want to be your friend.' It took a long breath and replied 'I have been waiting my whole life for this.'" ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤❤️❤️️ Today marks the start of #NEDAWareness and I wanted to share my biggest transformation picture to date. My journey to healthy began just after the photo on the left and has, so far, taken me to the photo on the right. The physical is obvious but the mental is personally my biggest, most noticeable difference. I was in an awfully dark place in October, in hindsight I realise how much this illness cost me and just how much I/my loved ones sacrificed as a result. It took being told my heart was giving up on me to realise how much I was and could finally lose. It was with the little strength I did have left, the unwavering love of my family, the extraordinary faith of my friends and every single one of their brave smiles of hope that I found the courage to smile back. Now here I stand with this second chance at life. Of course I struggle with recovery somedays but this photo has dragged me through the darkest ones because now I realise that I destroyed my body for a peace of mind I never achieved. I lost so much but gained so much more then weight for recovering. I'm not admitting it's easy but I can promise you it is worth it and I hope this photo shows to even one person that there is life beyond this illness. Please share with me or tag me in your stories-We are an unstoppable force and I am so incredibly proud of everyone else fighting this by my side. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #IAmMoreThan anorexia
헤일리의 3월 22일 현재 모습은 이렇다.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for everyones INCREDIBLE support from my old and new followers, the incredible messages and everyone who has read the articles/radio/watched the TV spots. I am overwhelmed by the amount of love and well wishes I have received, as well as courage those who have shared their fellow stories with me possess. I hope to help encourage an awareness to fight the pro anorexia propaganda out there and help anyone struggling like I did (and still do sometimes) to even just consider confronting this illness. Sure I have my bad days, but my good days far out weigh the bad now. Recovery IS possible and it is more then I could ever have dreamt of. We can do this 💪🏼 You have given me unimaginable amounts of strength and I look forward to continuing on sharing my recovery with you all. You all have my heart. Thank you ❤️ #prorecovery #recovery #transformationtuesday #edwarrior #anorexia #ED #edrecovery #transformation #beatitbefit #NEDA #love #edsoldier #beatana #strongnotskinny #healthyishappy #foodporn #anorexiarecovery #edstruggles #foodisfuel #edfamily #food #edwarrior #quote #bodypeace #eatingdisorderrecovery #inpatient #outpatient #fitness #beforeandafter
h/t The Sun